.. It was not sleazy!... Okay... okay! Do you want me to tell you? ...Kristen! Do you want me to tell you what really happened and not Audrey's fucked-up porno fantasy?" I raised one eyebrow both at your language and whatever it is you're talking about. Sleazy? Porno fantasy? What exactly were you getting up to? "So I was coming out of English class and crossing the quad behind the art rooms... to meet you and Megan... I know I didn't meet you! I'm trying to tell you why! Okay... so I was coming up behind the art rooms when Adam grabs my arm and kinda... well, he pushed me against the wall... uh huh... and his eyes looked so intense and... I know!.. and then he leaned in, real slow, looking at me the whole time, and suddenly we're kissing, looking straight at each other, and then he's like... his whole body is pushing against mine and his hand was kinda... on my leg and I could feel his fingers under my skirt, on my hips but it's almost like I couldn't feel that... why? Because!. ." I said, feeling the pit in my stomach start to ache."Third, laser hair removal. I want you to permanently remove all your facial hair." What??" And, of course, you'll need to shave your legs and underarms every day," Janice continued."Janice, please..."Unfortunately, she wasn't done yet. "Fourth, I think it's time you started to wear dresses, at least at home, and who knows, maybe we'll go out too?" No!" And finally, I want you to get a tattoo. Something simple, but exquisitely feminine. Like a small rose on your shoulder."I got up off the pillow and backed away from Janice. "No!" I said, "I can't do all that! I ... I won't! Already I'm about to lose my job at work, if I start going in with earrings, blonde hair, and plucked eyebrows they will think I've lost my mind!" So, you're OK with the hair removal and the tattoo?" Janice asked."No! Just stop!" Listen," Janice said, "I can't force you to do these things. I don't want to force you to do these things. I much rather that you do.
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